He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
