I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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