I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I puked a lego.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
