I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
