that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Can you bring me the toilet please
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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