Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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