He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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