the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I'm bleeding and have questions
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
