Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
