Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
