Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
