he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
