I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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