Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
