dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
