Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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