Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize