belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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