non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
