You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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