how can u be prego again
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
