I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Randomize
