Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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