I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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