I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Randomize
