just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize