His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
