do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
