He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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