On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
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