So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
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