Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
