Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Randomize
