wat bout pragnant strippers??
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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