He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize