when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
