I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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