Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
