Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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