I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
She even gives head with a lisp.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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