I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
