Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
