i already hear my dad disowning me
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Randomize
