i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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