And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
