idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Randomize
