hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
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