do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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