Well douche your snatch and let's go!
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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