Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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