i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
