just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
