so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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