Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize