apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
