mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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