So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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