Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Randomize
